Ok moms, any of you got some?
I'm headed to a wedding this weekend, 5 hours away, sans Connor; he's going to stay with his "Aunt" Tracy, and he wants to be sure I'm coming back for him after the "webbing." I know he'll be fine, have fun with his friend Hannah, and receive excellent care and tons of love from Tracy...but there's still lingering guilt.
Back up to a few weeks ago, at the pool. Connor's now swimming year 'round and while at his lesson on a Saturday morning, I noticed one of the women, with three kids in tow, looked familiar. I approached her, introduced myself, and yes, she was familiar because we attend the same church. We were chatting throughout the lesson, which is when she went on to say that she just loves being home with her three kids and isn't it just great to be a stay-at-home mom with Connor? (Side note, is it just me, or do Baptists have a bunch of kids??? I love the church we started attending this year, but I've never seen so many pregnant mamas with all their little ducks in tow as I have at this church.)
When I said that actually, I work full-time. The reaction I received was similar to if I had said something along the lines of "I-feed-my-kid-sugar-24-7-and-let-him-watch-cable-after-hours." The rest of my conversation about Connor being with my parents, me working from home, flexible schedule, etc. didn't penetrate the glaze that had come across her face. I may have well said I sold my kid on the black market.
Let me say, if you are one of my dear friends that is a stay-at-home-mom, I applaud you and respect that choice, especially my SIL with four kiddos. I am not here to argue whether or not it's better to be one or the other; I see advantages and disadvantages to both arrangements- it's the reaction that threw me for a loop. Did I mention her husband's professsion? Well, he's an OB-GYN, so I suppose perhaps it would be a more conducive situation to staying at home. While I shouldn't have, I allowed that experience to layer on some mommy guilt...am I working too much? Is Connor getting enough quality time with me? And so on.
Dare I go on to state that I enjoy working, most days at least? That's not to say that I don't enjoy mothering- I love that. But frankly, if I need to work (which I do), why not enjoy what I do and bring a passion to it? Is it as rewarding as being a mother- absolutely not. My answer is to make the most of the time with Connor that I do have...early morning snuggles and breakfast together, singing at the top of our lungs on his ride to school, lunches together throughout the week, early evening at the park or in the yard, cooking dinner with my little chef, playtime, bath time, stories, snuggles, and bedtime.
Now, if I could just figure out a way to get the house cleaned!
2 comments:
Oh, the mommy guilt. Satan's little toll to squash the mommy power out there. We all have it and i dare say the same amount of it. As a stay at home mom it's usually over wanting time to myself, not interacting with the kids, canning the projects and turning on Noggin, or totally losing it because I see/hear/feel/smell/touch them around the clock- for years! i have a 4.5 yr old that wants my constant interaction or sets out to make my life miserable. Anyway, the guilt just keeps you in a place of ineffectiveness, but God has something so much better for us! I'm doing Beth Moore's Fruit of the Spirit right now and learning how to tap into my power because no mother of young children should ever try to make it through the day on her power alone :)
Amber, well said, and it reminds me that yes, we need a weekend together SOON!
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