Waves of Serendipity

NEW BLOG- Final post here

2009-01-10T23:45:00.002-05:00

Hi all- I'm switching over to Wordpress...you can continue to keep up with me at http://gardengatesblog.wordpress.com

At the Y-M-C-A!

2009-01-10T13:50:00.002-05:00

So, I will admit, I joined our Y in January of 2006 and NEVER used it, with the exception of programs Connor was enrolled in. And if that's not wasteful enough, Mark never used our family membership either. And if THAT'S not enough, my parents didn't use their memberships...$67 a month down the tubes. So, this is the year I find my skinny self again. I've had some health issues that helped me pack on the pounds (PCOS, pituitary/thyroid), however, I also love food. Not in the fast-food obsessive way we have in this country, but in the decadent, gourmet, calorie-laden way. Rich, luscious desserts, sumptuous comfort food dishes, and of course, being a full-time mom and full-time employee elsewhere, whatever I can grab from the kitchen. I love to bake, try new recipes, and every good cook knows that skinny just doesn't taste as good as fat. It is what it is.

I've tried it all when it comes to dieting and eating changes- what's missing is the exercise. I am proud to report that I lost 25 pounds in 2008, via watching what I eat (read, depriving myself of the really good stuff). However, when you're this fat, no one can tell when you lost weight. As I go to declutter at home and settle things as I want them, while committing to not buying things/spending money (another fun challenge in itself), I realized I have NO ENERGY to deal with this mess, and exercise has always given me energy.

So, I did it. I went to the Y last night for my fitness orientation and some perky, 20-something guy asks me what my goals are. Hmmm, is it not obvious??? I was nice- responded weight loss and toning. He set me up on an exercise program and a weight lifting circuit. And "yeah me", I went back today and did my 30 minutes of torture on the elliptical, which I actually started to get into after the first 10 minutes. So, 2 miles down and 200 calories burned, I relinquished my machine for the next guy, walked a few laps to cool down, realized I should have brought a water bottle, and went off in search of a fountain.

My thirst slaked, I went to the weight-lifting circuit and did my machines. Please don't ask which ones; I don't know. I just did what my FitLinxx told me to and I did survive the whole circuit, feeling just a tiny bit sore. And you know what? I feel GREAT! Oh so great! I came home, made a healthy lunch, and Connor and I are off to conquer the clutter downstairs and weed through the toys he no longer plays with.

Garlic-Dill Aioli

2009-01-10T13:37:00.004-05:00

As my weight-loss quest continues, I am in a constant search for EASY foods that entice my tastebuds, while remaining natural and as unprocessed as possible. My requirement is that I already have most, if not all, ingredients on hand. Returning from the gym today I was craving something that would jazz up my boring turkey sandwich, so here's my creation:

1/3 C. Olive Oil Mayo

2 cloves garlic

1/4-1/2 tsp. dried dill weed (fresh is best, but it is out of season. Go sparingly with fresh)

Twist or two of fresh ground pepper

Optional: fresh lemon juice (1/2 tsp.)

Note, all measurements are approximate- I don't measure anything! Mix all together, use as a sandwich spread. Store, covered, in refrigerator.

Decluttering Continued

2009-01-04T18:32:00.002-05:00

Something about the promise of a new year inspires me to leave 2008 behind and proactively make choices for 2009. I'm definitely in a mode of simplifying, decluttering, and overall, getting the junk out...physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Here's to 2009 and de-junking!

Out with the Old, in with the New!

2008-12-31T18:38:00.007-05:00

Ah, 2009...how surreal it seems. Remember as a kid when you thought Prince's song "1999" seemed light years away? Over the past few years I've completely moved away from the whole bit around resolutions. I was too busy and tired to care, and as a type-A perfectionist the thought of declaring a resolution for something I was sure to break was leaving me in the mood of "why bother?" This year, I feel differently about it.

A friend of mine recently posted a note on Facebook about resolutions, and really, how they are promises we make to ourselves, because we must take care of ourselves, and I tend to agree. I become so busy as mama, wife, employee, daughter, sister, friend, and neighbor that I tend to overlook me. I'm not talking about being selfish, but I am convinced that better care of me certainly means a happier me, which enhances all of my relationships, along with my life. A better me equals a better mama, better wife, and so on.

When I look back over 2008, I've had some great starts that are important to continue. I've started cleaning up this cluttered mess of a house that has no storage. I'm starting to see no storage as a good thing. Unless they are holiday decorations, I probably don't need what is packed away, save for the baby items I wonder if we'll have the opportunity to use again someday. My three big themes for 2009 are faith, health, and simplifying/de-cluttering.

The first two are somewhat obvious...but the simplification goes much deeper than material possessions and a clean house (not that I'm even close to a clean house). There's too much emotional clutter in my life, to the point that I feel scattered, and instead of investing my time and efforts in a few key areas, it becomes spread too thin and renders itself ineffective. And I started to wonder, how many other women feel this way...and I was, may I admit pleasantly, surprised by the answers...many of us struggle with maintaining friendships worth keeping. It's not through a deliberate choice to struggle, but one of allowing everyday life and circumstances take away from our own needs, one of which being strong friendships.

When I look at my mom I see friendships that continue, spanning 35+ years, and I wonder how they did it. Well, they didn't work outside of the home, but that's not the entire answer. There was time made for things we don't tend to make time for anymore...a cup of coffee together, time sewing together, time just to chat. Once we moved, there was also the commitment to continue to stay in touch and to visit. And to this day my mom and her friends make that happen. In this great technological age, with all of its advances, there is also the negative of not needing to make an true effort anymore, and I'm guilty of this as well. Phone calls slack off, letters become non-existent, emails decline, and we are reduced to a hello on the Facebook wall. Again, totally guilty of such.

What does this mean for 2009? I've committed to myself that I will genuinely invest in those relationships that are meaningful to me...be it with a girlfriend around the corner or across the country. And while it sounds harsh, the flip side is I will no longer invest the time or energy in those relationships that lack authenticity, regardless of how long they have been in place. Ah, I feel relief just typing that. How interesting that when we break up with a guy, most of us are direct, specific, and resolute. We are direct with our kids and our spouses, yet why is it that women will not usually take the direct approach in acknowledging when a friendship has gone south? I have one relationship in particular that comes to mind, and I'll admit, I'm not taking the direct approach out...it's not one specific thing, it's not a monumental blow-out type of thing, rather it's years of seeing how different we are and I can no longer bridge that gap. For those in similar situations, struggling with letting a friendship go, I highly recommend http://www.lizpryor.com/.

I can assure you, if you are reading this blog, I am not talking about you, except in the sense that I need to focus more and up my efforts :) I wish everyone a wonderful and prosperous 2009, blessed beyond your imaginations! Peace-

We Be Jammin'!

2008-12-27T21:17:00.004-05:00

Connor has four primary teachers for preschool this year, plus numerous others that support his class- the gym teacher, music teacher, and so on. In order to be able to give a small gift to all, we made jam. This was my first attempt at jam and it went MUCH better than the peach butter I made this summer. I spent a Saturday morning at Max's house and made peach, raspberry, and blueberry jam- YUM! Connor decorated and stamped gift bags, and we also had homemade cocoa mix in Ball jars. These gifts were a sweet success, at little cost, that I plan to cook up for years to come. We made over 30 jars of jam and 6 jars of cocoa, and all were distributed. Connor also made homemade dough ornaments and he was so proud to give these. And while in the domestic mood, I made buckeyes, rumballs, and fudge for my neighbor. We also received a California Wine gift basket from a neighbor who was playing secret Santa. I love it!

We're Back!

2008-12-21T19:14:00.012-05:00

After a week in Dallas for work, the stress of re-packing in a few short hours, and waking a 3 year old at 4am to go to the airport (who cried when he had to take his shoes off and Mommy got a pat-down...did I mention how I LOVE when the random security check happens to a family with small children?), we made it to Orlando! And we had a wonderful week! I'm blogging as Connor takes his bath, so I must be brief, but I was so proud of him; a whole week with no naps, extended schedules, routines out the window and mealtimes at odd hours, and NOT ONE meltdown. Woo-hoo! Here are a few pics to get us started, and I hope to post more in the next few days. I have yet to get Christmas cards out and the house is a mess, so this would now be the downside of leaving for 2+ weeks in December, but we certainly enjoyed the time as a family.

Christmas tree at Sea World.

Mark's mom (Judy) and my brother Matty also joined us. Sadly, Matty only had two days off with us, but Connor sure loved having time with his "Uncle Rudy."

Marketplace at Mexico in Epcot, or as Connor calls it "Apri-cot." I know many families with young kids who shy away from this park, but since Connor enjoys understanding how things work, this was a great park for him. His favorite attraction was "The Land." This is a boat ride through gardens and an aquaculture area. The ride that won his heart here is "Test Track." Nothing like zooming along at 65+ mph!

Meeting Mickey again.

Ok, I'm off to put Connor to bed and attempt Christmas cards. More to come soon. In the meantime, Merry Christmas to all!

Making It Through the Week...Blogging Break

2008-12-01T16:49:00.003-05:00

It's a crazy time with my company and chaos and stress abound. I have a business trip this week, which I am not prepared for, leaving in the morning and catching a flight home Friday afternoon, and fly out again Saturday...Disney vacation! Unfortunately, you cannot just "show up"- you have to prepare, pack, etc. I pray for STRENGTH to make it through such a chaotic and stressful week of travel, work meetings, returning home safely, packing again, and flying out again about 12 hours later. Please keep us in your prayers- thanks!

A Step Away from Social Services?

2008-11-21T22:56:00.003-05:00

No, not really, but...

I went to pick Connor up from my parents' today and he wanted to show me something "SO COOL!"

"Look Mom, it's my coffin!" (he says beaming with pride)

"WTF?" (I silently think)

Ever since Halloween Connor has been obsessed with Dracula and Frankenstein. They don't scare him; he'll tell you they are "really cool pretend monsters, but don't be scared, they're not real." Connor wears a cape. Daily. So, it's really interesting when we're out in public and someone says, "Oh, a superhero! I've never met a real, live superhero before!" Connor then gives a look that implies "you idiot" (yes, he gets that look from me) and says "I'M DRACULA!" puts his arm up and covers half his face with his arm and cape, just as Dracula does...to which sweet old ladies in the grocery store are probably silently thinking to themselves "WTF?"

It was a cold afternoon full of indoor play, so my mom and Connor decided their craft today would be to create a Dracula coffin. We have a big cardboard box, complete with coffin shaped opening, a pull tab on the inside lid, and a pillow inside. I can just hear Connor now..."I"M DRACULA and I sleep in a real coffin at home, on my floor."

It's bad enough I cannot get my house cleaned, cannot seem to break through the chaos, and now, we have a coffin in the house, that Connor wants to sleep in each night, with his cape. I just imagine Connor sharing his coffin story, or the fact that he likes to crawl into the dog crate, with some stranger in the grocery store and the calls to Social Services flooding in. As I tell Connor's preschool teachers: I won't believe everything he says about you, if you won't believe everything he says about me.

Out of the Mouth...

2008-11-21T22:42:00.003-05:00

"Hey Connor, we are going to Disney World soon! Are you excited?"

"YEAH! Will I see Uncle Rudy?"

"Yes, we'll see Uncle Rudy."

"Will I see Uncle Mitchell?"

"No, Mitchell lives in Charlotte now."

"Charlotte's web? Mitchell moved to Charlotte's web?"

Homemade Granite Cleaner

2008-11-13T03:19:00.003-05:00

I'm all about saving some $ and getting our kitchen granite clean, disinfected, and streak-free. Since it's black, it really shows any streaks. It reminds me of when you'd spill liquid on your lab table in biology class and as much as you'd wipe and wipe, it just wasn't coming up, leaving streaks everywhere. The Method granite cleaner is $6 for a little bottle which is gone in about 2 weeks. I decided to experiment and here's a recipe I found. I checked online and the alcohol is safe on granite, plus it disinfects.

1/2 c. rubbing alcohol
5-6 drops dish detergent
1/4 c. water

Mix it up in a spray bottle and for pennies you have a great granite or countertop cleaner. I've also been using it as I clean out the fridge. It does have an alcohol smell to it, but it works great, so I can't complain.

Out of the Mouth of Babes

2008-11-13T03:15:00.002-05:00

#1
"Mom, I get confused with God and Jesus. Is Jesus God's last name?"

#2
We were reading a story tonight about heroes.
"Who is your hero Connor?"
"God!"

3:03am

2008-11-13T03:12:00.003-05:00

Yes, I am blogging when I should be sleeping. Connor's school Christmas photo is today and I couldn't find his plaid shirt I wanted him to wear, so I asked Mark to look. I put Connor to bed, but fell asleep with him, at 8pm, which means...

I didn't find the shirt, and neither did Mark
I didn't finish editing my designs at work
I didn't get anything cleaned up

I know I only have one child, but I am feeling overwhelmed. The house is a MESS, I cannot seem to find the time or energy to get it cleaned and keep it that way, so we are in a constant state of CHAOS and "where is...?" is a constant question around here. UGH!

SCORE!

2008-11-13T03:03:00.005-05:00

I'm a big bargain hunter, but I hate shopping. For Christmas this year we wanted to get Connor a playhouse, and I found a cute one by Step 2, but I was concerned that it's $300, another $150 in shipping b/c the stores don't carry it, and it's only 48 inches high. My mom and I ran to Toys R Us Saturday morning and found quite a bargain:

Meet the Savannah playhouse. It was 50% off, plus I had a coupon for another $10 off, and yet another coupon for another $10 gift card. WOO-HOO! For under $240 total, I got this one, which is Connor's big gift from Santa this year. My dad looked it over and said you couldn't even buy all the wood and accessories for $240 or less, so it was a great deal, plus it's over twice the size of the Step 2 playhouse, will grow with Connor, and can be used as a garden shed when he's done with it. And we got the last one in stock at the store...serendipity! Now, the box says "easy assembly"...

Out of the Mouths of Babes

2008-11-06T01:08:00.002-05:00

"Connor! What do you have shoved in your ears?"

"HUH?"

"WHAT DO YOU HAVE SHOVED IN YOUR EARS??? IS THAT CHALK???!!!"

"No Mom, I'm Frankenstein and those are my bolts!"

Ah, well,... that explains the small blue pieces of chalk barely sticking out of the kid's ears.

You've Got to Find the Humor

2008-11-06T00:57:00.005-05:00

So, work is CRAZY, I'm stressed out 100% of the time, and lucky me, today was my annual at my OB/GYN's office. Now here is where I just need to find humor in the situation...

My doctor is the same one who delivered Connor and is overall an amazing and compassionate woman. She travels to Africa to provide volunteer medical care and the people she meets there have a special place in her heart. You can tell from being in her office that these experiences have had a profound impact on her...there are necklaces for sale in the lobby, made by African women, with all money going to an AIDS charity, photos of her journey hung around the office, and so forth.

One photo, actually the positioning of it, I found HILARIOUS! So I'm sitting on the table in the exam room, looking around while I wait, and one of her Africa photos is on the wall across from the exam table, posted at eye level. I started to laugh...HYSTERICALLY!!!

The photo is composed of approximately 10 plus male teens, and it appears that they are all looking slightly downward at something. The angle of the photograph and its position on the wall directly across from the foot end of the exam table all combine to appear that you have a very captive audience during your exam.

Halloween...and what time is it REALLY?

2008-11-02T23:12:00.007-05:00

Argh! It's Cannonball Connor!

Mark and his little pirate.

Ready to trick-or-treat!

The really cool thing about living in the neighborhood you grew up in is to see your child take part in activities and traditions that you were involved in as a kid. We have an annual Halloween parade and Connor now participates, and I love that it starts in front of our home. Even better, seeing friends I grew up with in the neighborhood returning with their kiddos and joining in the fun. I saw so many friends from school, and they made the mistake of talking me into joining Facebook. I've been addicted since joining late Friday night. I digress...

Connor had a good Halloween. Here's how we've progressed:

2005: Dressed as a pumpkin, too little for candy

2006: Dressed as a shark, too little for candy

2007: Dressed as a shark again (he begged to), went trick-or-treating, more interested in looking into our neighbors' homes than in candy. Candy, what's candy? My mommy doesn't let me eat that.

2008: Dread Pirate Cannonball Connor. CANDY! OMG Mom, you go to peoples' homes and THEY JUST GIVE YOU CANDY!!!

Now, what to do with all of this crap? So much for the weight I've been losing...already screwed that up with some Reese's. My MAJOR annoyance with Friday night was that our gym was still continuing with swim lessons- no refunds and no make-ups. What kind of idiots expect kids ages 2-9 are going to show up for a swim lesson on Halloween night??? Swindlers!

And I know the time change is only an hour, but I am completely thrown off and headed to bed.

"Booed!"

2008-10-30T22:39:00.002-04:00

This is the first year I've heard of such, but we have been "booed" by some friendly neighborhood ghosts. Actually, double booed. We returned home from an evening in Norfolk to find not one, but two, treat bags on our front porch, each with a neighborhood boo poem. How cool, and how loved we feel to have scored two bags. Tomorrow is the last day to return the favor, so we'll be sure to do so.

Have no idea what I am talking about? Check here: http://organizedchristmas.com/youve-been-booed

Our treat bags are so nice, not just candy, but pencils, straws, and little toys that Connor loves. Yeah neighbors!

From the Mouths of Babes

2008-10-29T09:00:00.003-04:00

Last night Connor helped make goody boxes for some family friends, in preparation for Halloween. He was bummed that there was not one for him and I said that I'm sure he'd receive some candy and treats for Halloween. Here's where "creative parenting" comes in...I was tired of listeng to him whine about it AND I remembered that "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" would be on TV last night, so I said..."Maybe the Great Pumpkin will bring you some treats."

That was probably a big mistake. I met a girlfriend for a drink last night, so I did not do bathtime/bedtime with Connor. This morning, Connor woke me up with:

"MAMA! MAMA! THE EASTER PUMPKIN DID NOT COME LAST NIGHT! THE EASTER PUMPKIN DIDN'T COME!"

It's first thing in the morning, I'm still in bed, just waking up to the panic that the Easter Pumpkin didn't come. Reminds me of a girlfriend who fell asleep and forgot that the Tooth Fairy was supposed to visit her daughter's room that night- try explaining that one! So, in recovery mode, I asked Connor, "Did you put out your treat carton, with the pumpkins?" and he responded, "No."

"Ok, well that must be the problem Connor. I think if you put your treat carton out with the pumpkins tonight, the Great Pumpkin might come by with some treats."

Note to self- this just started a new tradition in the house.

Wordless Wednesday

2008-10-29T08:54:00.002-04:00

Bibliophiles Unite!

2008-10-28T00:17:00.002-04:00

On my recent trip to Dallas I was able to see one of my co-workers whom is very like-minded with me, but varying enough to keep things interesting. As our conversation catch-up progressed, it turned to "what are you reading?" This is not only one of my favorite questions to answer, but also one of my top ones to ask.

My current booklist is posted on the right side of my blog, and yes, it needs some updating, but I am always looking for a good book. Recent suggestions I've received are A THOUSAND SPLENDID SUNS, THE KITERUNNER, TOBACCO ROAD, GOD'S LITTLE ACRE, THE SECRET LIFE OF BEES, and THE MEMORY KEEPER'S DAUGHTER.

While waiting in the airport the other day I picked up NIGHTS IN RODANTHE and being a Nicholas Sparks' work, I should have known better than to read it on the plane. I finished the novel during the last leg of my flight, and thank goodness the back of the plane was almost empty, as I had tears flowing by the end of the book. No, I've not seen the movie.

If you've not read EAT, PRAY, LOVE, I highly recommend it- hearts can be healed. I'm still a fan of Malcom Gladwell, so both THE TIPPING POINT and BLINK are high on my recommended list, as is FREAKONOMICS, of a similar genre. I'm still in and out of A WHOLE NEW MIND and THE LEXUS AND THE OLIVE TREE. Another one I started over a year ago and plan to return to is THE MEDICI EFFECT.

Anyone read THE YEAR OF LIVING BIBLICALLY? A guy tries to do just that- literally. I may add it to my list. But back to my favorite question: What are you reading? Please post your answers, as I am always in search of a good book.

Change

2008-10-24T10:41:00.006-04:00

"Life offers you a thousand chances...all you have to do is take one."

Change is inevitable, change is constant...how open are we to change?

I work on a virtual team, which means most of us work from home 100% and call in for meetings, view shared documents via computer, and so forth. A challenge of virtual teams is building a connectedness in what can be an isolated work environment. On one of my weekly team calls I keep an icebreaker as an ongoing agenda item; how can we know each other better, just as we would if we stopped into an office breakroom, gathered around the water cooler, passed in the hall, or went to lunch with a colleague? I ask the team to create the questions and we rotate weekly who is on point to facilitate. Yesterday's question was "what is one of your favorite characters from a book, movie, play, or television, and how are you like that character?"

This was easy for me to answer: Frannie from "Under the Tuscan Sun." I shared with my team that there are two themes in Frannie's life: strength in the face of adversity and recognizing that what we seek in our lives may not come to us in the forms we intended, but they are still to be treasured. I think of God that way too- a prayer request may go unanswered, or really, the answer is "no." What is difficult to remember in hearing the "no" is the next part of God's plan, "I have greater things in store for you my child. Greater things are still to come, greater things are yet to be done."

Back to Frannie, she is faced with a challenge and could justifiably pull the covers over her head and hide away, but no, she goes out and embraces the passion that life is about. She begins with a trip to Italy to restore herself and on a whim in Tuscany, she purchases a crumbling villa that needs work and goes about tackling the project. Initially she dreamed of a house with children, laughter, love, and cherished relationships. In the end, there is a house alive with laughter, there is the joy of a child, there is love, there are cherished relationships- even if they didn't take the form she initially imagined as she set out on her path, and they are better than she could have imagined, partially through her openess and her willingness to take a risk. In those ways, I identify with Frannie...and how appropriate.

Change is constant in my organization at work and how, oh, I don't know, serendipitous, that I had that exercise to complete yesterday. Shortly after I prepared for the ice breaker my phone rang...my partner/mentor/coach on a major project I am supporting is being moved to another "opportunity" (I love how work situations, no matter how much they SUCK sometimes, are given the good ole PR spin- "opportunity" "increase acumen" "fresh perspective") and a former manager of mine is moving onto the project. I'll adjust. I don't disagree with the spin placed on these changes- there is some value to what the company line is. The failure I see is that there is no recognition of the human component to these working relationships. We are not robots, we do not focus only on leadership needs and "opportunities." There are human team elements that are altered, sometimes drastically, for what may be thought of as the greater good of the organization. Have some compassion. Realize that it's acceptable for team members to actually have feelings and emotions connected to change. They will get past it the shock of it, as will I, but when we start to view our employees as robots, we lack the emotional intelligence that should be present in any well-rounded leader. Sometimes people are hurt and they just need someone to acknowledge that change can be difficult and painful at times. For an organization so focused on change management, we have a long way to go with how we treat our "targets" of change. Oops, silly me, let me spin it..."We have opportunity in how we communicate with our targets of the desired end-state." Pass the Kool-Aid.

From the Mouths of Babes

2008-10-23T13:18:00.002-04:00

"Mommy, you're home from Texas!"

"Yes, Connor, and I saw cowboys while I was there."

"Were they naked?"

Background: Connor has run around our house as a naked cowboy for a long time now. Last year he saw "The Naked Cowboy" on TV and added a guitar to his boots, hat, and birthday suit.

On the Road...AGAIN!

2008-10-22T01:34:00.003-04:00

Ugh- forgot to mention that I am traveling for work this week, hence no posts. I'll be home from Texas on the 23rd, so more to come.

Wordless Wednesday

2008-10-15T23:59:00.000-04:00

Homeward Bound

2008-10-09T23:33:00.001-04:00

It's a Good Thing

2008-10-08T22:45:00.005-04:00

Seriously, I am no Martha Stewart but there are so many "good things" I just love about fall...

Fresh mums begging for a beautiful urn and a porch to adorn
Pumpkin picking
Hot apple cider, homemade
Crisp and cool evening air
The first wood fire crackling in the fireplace
Hues of the changing leaves: gold, crimson, and copper
Chevre and cranberry salad with pears and champagne dressing
The start of the holiday season
Decorated yards, pumpkins everywhere
Muscadine grapes and grape picking
Wine festivals
Making Connor real hot cocoa on the stove, from scratch
Pulling out the hats and gloves and hand-knitted scarves
Fresh green fall fescue lawns
Feeling the dirt in my hands as I clean up the garden, all of the earthly smells
Fall festivals
Christmas shopping
Time outdoors without the oppressive heat and humidity of summer
Sleeping with a cool breeze flowing through an open window
Hearing the owls hoot, again, through open windows
Halloween and all of the little ghosts and goblins
Baseball's World Series
Pro-football season
Playoffs
Macy's Thanksgiving's Day Parade

New Addition- Meet Marley

2008-10-07T23:46:00.012-04:00

Meet Marley, as in Bob, not "Marley and Me." Connor was between Marley Pumpkin and Perdita, and Marley Pumpkin won...or as he says it, "Mar-wee." Where did he learn of Bob Marley? We have friends with a little dog named Marley, Connor's Uncle Rudy is a Bob fan, and Connor has the above t-shirt. I digress...since Sammy has passed and Connor has come to terms with it, he's been asking, begging, for a "snuggle puppy, since Sammy is up in heaven and isn't here to snuggle me at night." Ugh, breaks your heart. This is a much easier request to grant than his other one these days: "Mom, I want a baby. Can you have a baby? Oh, and ask God to make it a BOY. No girls, a BOY!" We went to the pound on Saturday and met this little thing...

The pound listed her as German Shepherd mix. Hmmm, don't see that at all. Our vet thinks she's a Miniature Pinscher, weighing in at 16 pounds and smaller than our cat. Whatever she is, she's cute, sweet, and loves to snuggle.

Riding home- look at that smile on his face!

Puppy love

Worn out

Getting along with Salem

Dax is still top dog in the house, but is very accepting of Marley. Good boy! And good thing since he has an 80 pound advantage.

Various Photos

2008-10-07T23:33:00.010-04:00

Stopping on Afton Mountain's lookout, 9/28

New Halloween shirt

Pirate parrot from Nonna

Showing off carrots, pirate parrot, and Batman

Carrots Connor grew

Serendipity

2008-10-07T21:45:00.003-04:00

I have this "thing"- whenever I run to the market, I run into someone I know...and the worse I look, the more people I run into that I haven't seen in years (Murphy's Law, right?). The other day, it was a teacher from high school, who was excited to meet Connor. I had two recently that fall into my classification of "serendipity" and of course, both happened at the market.

While in OBX this summer, on vacation of all places, I was in a market in Duck and ran into a guy I'd not seen since graduation- we were hallmates my sophomore year. The funny thing was despite 15 years passing, we recognized each other immediately, learned we are in similar roles with competing companies, and got to introduce our kids to each other.

Back home this past weekend, I ran into another hallmate from Bushnell, at Trader Joe's. And sure enough, we work for competing banks. He does not live in the area, but was stopping with his wife and infant on a drive back from a wedding. It was so nice to meet his wife and new baby, introduce Connor, and just catch up- all in the middle of the market.

I also love running into my pal Adam at Trader Joe's, although not recently. And did I mention the time I was walking down the Ringstrasse in Vienna of all places, and ran into a fellow student government member from MWC? And yes, we recognized each other and stopped to chat. Or last year catching a connecting flight in Charlotte and running into a friend from NC on her way home from Cancun? Then boarding my flight and knowing three more people on board? Ah, serendipity!

Dancin' in September

2008-10-06T23:05:00.000-04:00

Do you remember the 21st night of September?

Love was changing the minds of pretenders

While chasing the clouds away

Ba de ya - say do you remember

Ba de ya - dancing in September

Ba de ya - never was a cloudy day

Dancing with my "other" brother

Mark and Jeni

Dad and Me

Here comes the bride!

Enjoying the reception

Mitchell and Kristin...wedding is in July and Connor is their Ringbearer

Rudy and Me

Weekend Wedding

2008-09-29T21:00:00.002-04:00

We recently traveled for a wedding weekend and truly, it was a wonderful time, as it should be. My new camera arrived, so I spent the car ride figuring out how to use it; next I need to load the software so I can download photos. So, photos will be posted soon, but in the meantime, I wanted to get my thougts together about the weekend.

The bride's parents have been friends with my parents for over 22 years, our brothers friends the same amount of time (I remember when the boys were in 1st grade together). We've shared vacations together, funny stories growing up, laughter, and tears together. It reminded me that when we come together for something, such as a wedding, we are not just celebrating an event, but all of that shared background.

The bride was just beautiful, as was the ceremony and reception, followed by an after wedding party, then brunch the next day. Having this time to celebrate together also allowed our families to continue that bond, continue to support each other, and essentially, continue to be like a family to each other. When we moved to Virginia, we had no family here in the "official" sense, but we've been blessed with this family through the friendships created and bonds strengthened over the years. Coming together for this wedding was not only a celebration of the bride and groom, and their commitment, but a celebration of family and friends, our history and our future.

Sanctus Real

2008-09-27T01:57:00.001-04:00

I've had this music in my head lately- check 'em out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2LCvCBaqVg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06AgY5Xoavw

Mommy Guilt

2008-09-27T00:58:00.007-04:00

Ok moms, any of you got some?

I'm headed to a wedding this weekend, 5 hours away, sans Connor; he's going to stay with his "Aunt" Tracy, and he wants to be sure I'm coming back for him after the "webbing." I know he'll be fine, have fun with his friend Hannah, and receive excellent care and tons of love from Tracy...but there's still lingering guilt.

Back up to a few weeks ago, at the pool. Connor's now swimming year 'round and while at his lesson on a Saturday morning, I noticed one of the women, with three kids in tow, looked familiar. I approached her, introduced myself, and yes, she was familiar because we attend the same church. We were chatting throughout the lesson, which is when she went on to say that she just loves being home with her three kids and isn't it just great to be a stay-at-home mom with Connor? (Side note, is it just me, or do Baptists have a bunch of kids??? I love the church we started attending this year, but I've never seen so many pregnant mamas with all their little ducks in tow as I have at this church.)

When I said that actually, I work full-time. The reaction I received was similar to if I had said something along the lines of "I-feed-my-kid-sugar-24-7-and-let-him-watch-cable-after-hours." The rest of my conversation about Connor being with my parents, me working from home, flexible schedule, etc. didn't penetrate the glaze that had come across her face. I may have well said I sold my kid on the black market.

Let me say, if you are one of my dear friends that is a stay-at-home-mom, I applaud you and respect that choice, especially my SIL with four kiddos. I am not here to argue whether or not it's better to be one or the other; I see advantages and disadvantages to both arrangements- it's the reaction that threw me for a loop. Did I mention her husband's professsion? Well, he's an OB-GYN, so I suppose perhaps it would be a more conducive situation to staying at home. While I shouldn't have, I allowed that experience to layer on some mommy guilt...am I working too much? Is Connor getting enough quality time with me? And so on.

Dare I go on to state that I enjoy working, most days at least? That's not to say that I don't enjoy mothering- I love that. But frankly, if I need to work (which I do), why not enjoy what I do and bring a passion to it? Is it as rewarding as being a mother- absolutely not. My answer is to make the most of the time with Connor that I do have...early morning snuggles and breakfast together, singing at the top of our lungs on his ride to school, lunches together throughout the week, early evening at the park or in the yard, cooking dinner with my little chef, playtime, bath time, stories, snuggles, and bedtime.

Now, if I could just figure out a way to get the house cleaned!

But Mom!...

2008-09-25T08:31:00.004-04:00

No Wordless Wedness this week; my Canon Powershot has finally seen its last days and I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of my Nikon D40 SLR.

The humidity has dropped here yesterday and today as a nor'easter moves through, and since it was in the high 60s/low 70s, I tried to dress Connor in pants instead of shorts. He's got these cute sweat/lounge pants I picked up at Old Navy last year and he used to love them, even if they were a little big on him. They are now the perfect fit, but when I tried to get them on him yesterday he threw a fit and insisted on "other pants!" I wasn't battling over this, so out came a pair of khaki cargo pants.

Same weather today, but now with the steady rain as the storm moves through and the winds are picking up to 35 mph. Again, tried for the sweatpants and it went like this...

"Mom, I CANNOT wear these pants to school!"

"Why not Connor?"

"Because they are mushy! I cannot wear mushy pants to school and have all the kids see me in these pants; I can't! I need jeans, I need other pants. I AM NOT WEARING THESE PANTS!"

Connor ended up wearing jeans; who knew a boy could be such a diva with the wardrobe?

Wardrobe Requirements

2008-09-22T16:40:00.001-04:00

Milan's fashion week kicked off and I was laughing at myself getting dressed this morning, because I only had two requirements when I stepped out of the shower, running behind in my morning routine:

1. It's clean

2. It fits over the ta-tas

Not much of a fashion statement today!

No Blog, Bad Girl!

2008-09-20T00:40:00.002-04:00

So, it's been one of those weeks...I've wanted to blog, but there has been no time available to update. I finally downloaded some pics and updates are below.

So Long Summer!

2008-09-20T00:30:00.000-04:00

The Green Goblin...and he rides again!

Ready to scare off Halloween goblins...

Surveying the crop...

Trying to beat the heat; 105 heat index in September!

Picnic lunch on the farm...

Evening in the hot tub...

Playing with Alex...

No Fear

2008-09-20T00:00:00.006-04:00

"What would you do if you weren't afraid?"

A good friend from work recently asked me this in relation to my career and it did give me pause. I don't consider myself fearful at all, but when posed that question I could see how I may be adventurous and daring in my personal life, and more timid at work. It's really quite the dichotomy and very unlike me, and since I'm not sure how/why it started, I am becoming more focused on driving forward deliberately in my career, without fear, especially fear of the unknown.

Connor is a wonderful teacher when it comes to fear; he has none. At a recent Halloween event, Connor wanted to find the scariest creatures and ask for a photograph with them...

He took two hours one recent Saturday to run around, explore, and get lost in a 5 acre corn maze...

Connor said yes to his first sleepover...

And yes to riding the log flume...over and over and over again...

Yes to hand-feeding lorikeets...

Meeting Duke...

So I ask you, what would you do if you weren't afraid?

Weekend at the Park

2008-09-13T00:41:00.000-04:00

Fall is trying to make its way into our area, with cooler nights and sunny days with less humidity; the perfect time to get out and have some fun...

9/11: Never Forget

2008-09-11T05:40:00.004-04:00

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum,
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

- W. H. Auden

Wordless Wednesday: Silent Knight

2008-09-10T08:55:00.002-04:00

Wordless Wednesday

2008-09-03T09:23:00.003-04:00

From the Mouths of Babes

2008-09-03T09:17:00.004-04:00

Connor continues to entertain me with his conversations and discoveries; he's a great little problem solver who exclaims "I've got an idea!" Here are two recent situations that had me giggling...

Every morning Connor runs into my room, gives me a big hug and kiss, which he calls the "magic wake-up hug and kiss" and I spring from the bed and proclaim "I'm awake!" Today was no different and after going through the routine I said, "Are you my sweet prince?" and Connor replied "No Mom, I'm not a prince. I don't have a horse." Well, there you go.

A few weeks ago we were out to eat and when it came time to place Connor's order I said, "and the little guy will have..." Connor corrected me and the waiter, stating "Mama, I am a BIG guy, the BIG guy will have..."

Back to School

2008-09-02T11:01:00.006-04:00

It's that time of year, and Connor is now back to preschool. We picked his clothes out last night (notice the "Uncle Rudy" shirt), and the anticipcation mounted as we made preparations for this morning. Connor was excited to be back to school and in the Koalas class this year. Last year, at 2 1/2 he was a Cub...right of passage I suppose. We've been very pleased with his first year in preschool. For awhile now, Connor has consistenly been able to count to 30, identify upper and lower case letters, spell his name, and now we are working on letter sounds. We're thankful he's eager to learn more!

Arriving at school...

Making his entrance...

Peach Pickin' Time

2008-08-31T18:29:00.011-04:00

I'm a peach purist...if I'm going to eat fresh peaches, they are going to be from a roadside stand and have to come from Georgia or South Carolina...which means I don't get to eat fresh peaches all that much. There's one farmer's market on the way to OBX that sells fresh Georgia peaches and they are wonderful! It's like chocolate to me...if I'm going to enjoy, I really just want the best, not some semi-wax chocolate concoction. So, I've never really noticed that eating fresh peaches, skin and all, isn't a good idea for me. I've had tingly lips from it before, but nothing more than that.

Well, Connor loves farms and I was looking for something to do this weekend and he proposed we "go to a farm and pick something." Here it's too late for strawberries and blackberries, almost too late for blueberries, and too early for apples and grapes. That left peaches and who knew you can pick peaches here? We use the http://www.pickyourown.org/ site, even when we travel, to find good farms. I've never been peach picking before, but how hard can it be, right? Thank goodness for my Garmin, because to a city girl, this farm felt like it was at the ends of the earth. We made it to the farm and Connor met the farmer, learned we'd be picking white flesh peaches, which disappointed me a little, but off we went, the only two picking that day.

The orchard was beautiful- remote and surrounded by water, with endless rows of fruit trees. Connor found our row and we began to pick. About 10 minutes into it, we were hot, sweaty, and really itchy. I couldn't figure out what was causing this, but it wasn't enough to keep us from our peaches, so we kept on picking. I ate one small peach in the field, and noticed my lips and face started to tingle. Obviously that taste was not a good idea. After about an hour in the field we ended up picking a little over five pecks, which weighed in just over 50 pounds (What was I thinking I would do with all of these peaches?). Connor and I had a great conversation about God's creation, His gifts, where peach trees come from, how the farmer cares for them just as God cares for us, etc... We payed the farmer and departed, me, very happy that I am not a migrant worker on a farm, a farmer, or a peach picker.

Well, I was still itching like crazy and Connor was too; then he was crying that he was just too itchy. The poor kid had bright red cheeks and was miserable, while I had splotches on my face and small hives developing on my hands. We finally made it home, showered, and besides having a headache and some sinus issues, we were fine. Then today, faced with all of these peaches, I got to work boiling, peeling, cutting, and mashing peaches. After giving away about 20 pounds of peaches to friends and neighbors, I am no Martha Stewart, I decided to attempt to make peach butter. And now that I am taking a break from being elbow deep in peaches, I can say that it is too much damn work. And I am having the same crazy reaction that Connor and I had yesterday- ugh!

Guess what we've since learned? You can be allergic to peach skins, but not the flesh itself! I had no idea, but now I know better. If you already prone to hayfever or pollen allergies, you are also likely to have an allergy to peach skin, but not the flesh. Additionally, 40% of those of Spanish and Italian descent (I am the latter) are prone to this allergy, along with 75% of those from Israeli descent. I was completely shocked to learn this! We also learned that those with allergic reactions to peach skins are also prone to have an allergic reaction to apple skins when apple picking, but not apples in the store, because they have been coated with wax. You can bet this will be first and last attempt at creating peach butter, tree to canning.

Don't get me wrong, I loved feeling connected to the earth, gathering my food, having quiet time with Connor, with no one else around and beautiful landscapes as far as the eye could see. I have a much greater appreciation for those who continuously make homemade items such as jams, jellies, butters, and canned items, such as my Nana, who just brought me currant jelly made fresh from her garden currants. After 5 hours in the kitchen, and a peach butter concoction that must cook overnight, then be placed in sterilized jars, canned, etc., I can definitively say two things: 1. I have a much greater appreciation for anyone who does this on a regular basis, such as our Amish friends, and 2. I'll stock up on canned items and preserves on the next one of our multiple trips to Lancaster, PA.

Back to Nature

2008-08-31T17:57:00.009-04:00

We've had some bizarre encounters with nature lately! Connor and I were both "bit" by a turkey last weekend and yesterday I was was bit, then peed on, by a box turtle. To put this in context, we went to Bluebird Gap Farm last weekend, one of Connor's favortite spots to run and feed the animals. It's a nice little farm right in the middle of the City of Hampton. We feed the deer, goats, cows, chickens, etc... Now, I've been pecked by chickens and roosters, bit by geese and ducks, along with cats, dogs, and goats, sucked on by a cow, nibbled by a horse, but I had yet to be bit by a turkey (not that I was trying). Connor and I were walking by the turkeys, who were obviously hungry, and one ran up, bit Connor, then bit me. Let me tell you, it HURTS! We are now watchful of the kamikaze turkey on the farm.

Yesterday, on our way to pick peaches, Connor and I spied a box turtle crossing the road and stopped to rescue him. I forgot what I quickly learned as a kid: a scared turtle pees and bites if he's not the kind to pop back into his shell. This was a fiesty one, and sure enough, was stretching his neck out as far back as he could to bite me...which is nothing compared to that turkey. I get the turtle in the car and of course, he pees all over me. Connor thought this was hilarious, me, not so much. We went to my parent's house, I cleaned up, gave the turtle some grapes and lettuce, then we let him go in their backyard. Connor felt good about rescuing an animal, just like Diego, and we were off to the peach orchards.

"Say What You Need to Say..."

2008-08-28T22:51:00.005-04:00

That John Mayer song has been running through my head this week.

You know that in the end
It's better to say too much
Than never to say what you need to say again

Well, I'm glad someone sees it my way. Seriously, it's just been one of those weeks. We finally had to put Sammy down yesterday, and I don't care if I seemed like a total idiot talking and crying to my dog in the middle of the vet's office. She gave us 13 great years; the least I could do was thank her, tell her how much she was loved, how much she'll be missed, and that it's ok to go...to be free of the earthly body failing her.

I've grown great relationships by taking a risk and saying what I needed to say, and I've crashed a couple by speaking my mind. In the end, I'm alright with that. I'm me, imperfect as I may be, and I require honesty and authenticity. I've been mulling over some substantial thoughts lately, related to my career, but I've taken no action. Today, I said what I needed to say, with the fear that it may have been too much or too premature, but with the comfort that opportunity will not pass me by due to my own silence or inaction.

If you could only
Say what you need to say

Mamma Mia!

2008-08-24T22:42:00.004-04:00

I LOVED this movie! Those of you who know me well, know that says a lot, as I am not a movie junkie. I don't even own many DVDs because I will rarely watch a movie more that once. We were swimming at my parents' this afternoon when out of the blue Connor asks "Nonna and Poppy, can I spend the night at your house?" and I was just as shocked when they said "Yes." Oooh...a whole evening of babysitting- why not catch a movie I've been wanting to see?

Forget the fact that I only know about 25% of the songs in this movie, it now ranks up there with my short list of favorites, such as "Under the Tuscan Sun" and "My Big Fat Greek Wedding." The independent spirits of Donna and her daughter Sophie, the strong friendships that weave throughout, and the surprises love can bring us all emanate from this well written screenplay. I couldn't help but dance in my seat to "Dancing Queen" and "Take a Chance on Me." And now I hear that starting August 29, select theaters will be hosting "Mamma Mia" singalongs. Hmmmm... :)

Heavenly Dog

2008-08-22T18:35:00.007-04:00

I took Connor to the park this afternoon- it was such a beautiful day here. While on the swings with his friend, Connor got very serious and asked,

"Mom, do you have to take Sammy to heaven?"

"Well Connor, I don't take her to heaven, angels will take her."

To which Connor replied, "Will they drive up in a car, to our house, to come and get her?" and "Can Sammy come back from heaven?"

Poor kiddo- our 13 year old pooch is in failing health, and we wanted to prepare Connor for the inevitable. We were all saddened and shocked with the death of our two cats last spring (Sascha-12, Mitzi-23), then Connor lost 13 koi from my parents' pond around the same time. He was devastated, so we thought it would be best to start talking to him about Sammy being very old, very ill, and that she will probably die soon, and what we believe happens after one dies. It was the right decision for our family- Connor is adjusting to the idea and it gives us a forum to discuss the circle of life. I know once Sammy goes it will still be sad, it will still be a loss, and it will still be painful to lose his buddy, but I am thankful that it will not be a total shock. And I can tell from Connor's questions, he is seriously thinking about all of the implications...will Dakota (our other dog) die? Is King (fish) going to die? Salem (cat)? This has allowed us to answer any of Connor's questions related to life and death and I am impressed with what he comes up with. Ultimatey, I'm thankful we can talk with Connor about this subject, and answer his questions as best we can.

Wordless Wednesday

2008-08-20T14:18:00.005-04:00

I've completely stolen the "Wordless Wednesday" idea from my friend Amber's blog, but some photos just don't need any words.

List of 33

2008-08-20T13:35:00.005-04:00

My 33rd birthday was this past Sunday and I recently came across some readings related to goal setting; did you know some crazy folks are striving to accomplish 1001 goals by 01/01/10? Hmmm, sounds good, but I don't even have the time to think about 1001 things, let alone make a list. Then I got to thinking, what about 330 items for my 33rd birthday? Mark brought me back down to reality and said "why not start with 33 things to accomplish in the next year?" Yes, good plan...glad I married a man with common sense. Here's the list of 33 personal goals, to be accomplished by 8/17/09, in random order. Drumroll please...

1. Clean/organize the house...yes, the WHOLE house
2. Pack up Connor's baby clothes/items
3. Finalize a will
4. Readjust my stock/401 k- COMPLETED 8/20
5. Finish scrapbooking through Connor's 3rd year (think I stopped at 9 months)
6. Lose weight
7. Make appt. with trainer at the Y, to make #6 a possibility
8. Clean out the garage
9. Paint the dining room
10. Hire someone to paint the alcove over the hall, and the upstairs hall
11. Take Connor back to NJ/NYC
12. Save a greater % of income
13. Reduce debt
14. Get my taxes/receipts in order early vs. the last minute panic
15. Finish novel
16. Quiet/devotional time each day
17. Grow grass in the backyard
18. New deck
19. New windows
20. Find a spot for a garden next spring (our lot is so shady)
21. Remodel Connor's bathroom
22. Volunteer
23. Keep up with snail mail and birthday cards
24. Use video camera more
25. Learn to tranfer videos from mini-DVDs to ones that actually play
26. Get digital voice recorder for Connor
27. Learn how to store the audio files from #26
28. Learn how to use my MP3 (yes, I know, pathetic)
29. Get a hammock and install on #18
30. Get the chimney cleaned before winter
31. Continue with Italian studies (I've been a slacker)
32. Walk Dax more...aiming for daily, but the dog is a freak!
33. Floss

In looking back over this list, it's quite serious and boring. Perhaps I'll author a list for my advenurous side too...stay tuned.

Monday's Musings

2008-08-18T20:41:00.000-04:00

A special treat for Connor lately is being able to snuggle in our bed and watch a movie of his choosing. I'm not one of those moms that allows my child to be a television zombie, so it truly is a treat for Connor to join us for a movie. My dad recently introduced him to Abbott and Costello movies, which Connor wants to watch more than Barney- that must be true love for any three year old. Thankfully, Connor is not afraid of the monsters ("Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstien") and says, "Mom (exasperated), they're not real, they're just pretend!"

My favorite musings from Connor tonight, while watching "Hold That Ghost," are "That Abbott, he's a funny little guy!" and "Those two are opposites- the short, fat one and the tall, skinny one."

But the best one of all is about the Andrews sisters singing in the movie...

"I don't like those girls and I do not think they are good singers."

"Why don't you like those girls, Connor?"

"They have bad hair, Mom."

Well, I can't argue with the bad hair.